How to overcome insecurity and become self-empowered

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Do you ever feel anxious or nervous when you have to give a presentation? What about when it comes to dating someone new, making speeches or even having lunch with your boss or mother-in-law?

“It’s the human condition to feel insecure,” says L.A. psychiatrist Dr. Phil Stutz to a small group (myself included) at the Random House headquarters in New York City. Stutz and his colleague, psychotherapist Barry Michels, are celebrity self-help gurus and authors of the groundbreaking new book The Tools. The book offers five strategies (or, as they call them, “tools”) to deal with difficult situations that life throws at you. We’ll learn one of them in this workshop.

Stutz and Michels are taping this session to air on an episode of The Dr. Oz Show. All around me normally blasé journalistos are sharing their most uneasy childhood experiences of insecurity: things like being snubbed by the cool kids or getting picked last in gym class. “There’s so much misunderstanding about insecurity,” says Stutz. “Most people think they’re insecure because of some specific flaw: too overweight, too poor, too shy. But what we now know is that after people achieve goals like losing weight or making more money, they just find something else to feel insecure about. Yes, that’s hard to believe when you see a glossy photo of a movie star or a billionaire. But I treat famous, beautiful, rich people and — trust me — they’re all insecure.”

I’m stoked. Let the confidence building begin! Three hours later the workshop is finished, and, looking around, I can see that the energy in the room has truly changed. People are sitting up taller and really do seem more confident, alert and proud. I’m amazed. And that’s why I’m excited to share it all with you. So, we’ve gathered our favourite parts from the chapter in The Tools on boosting confidence and developing your inner authority. Click here to get started!

The Tools, by Phil Stutz and Barry Michels, $30.