The rumour: Meghan is planning a secret hair transplant for Harry
Where you heard it: The National Enquirer
The report: It’s no secret that a certain royal ginger is a little less rouge than he once was. Them’s the breaks (just ask brother Wills). But according to the Enquirer, Harry’s new bride has plans to help her hubby turn back the follicle clock by way of a $90,000 procedure at one of her fancy L.A. spas. “Harry thinks it’s a great idea to have his bald spot thickened when he’s out of the U.K. because it will give him time to heal in private,” a “royal snitch” reveals, adding that the secret op in question may be tacked onto the end of the couple’s honeymoon to avoid arousing suspicion.
The smell test: This story smells bogus, as in the so-called snitch is probably just an imaginative Enquirer intern. Still, it’s a good reminder to keep our eye on the royal bald spot over the next few months: Given how much effort Harry has put into improving his appearance and health since hooking up with Meghan (he slimmed down a ton before the wedding and is apparently a green juice convert), the notion of minor scalp surgery doesn’t seem so far off.
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The rumour: Meghan Markle disrespected the queen
Where you heard it: The Daily Mail
The report: So earlier this week, the Duchess attended a reception at Buckingham Palace alongside her hubby and Her Majesty, which is where the alleged egregious act took place. What act, you ask? (And it’s a good question, because the Mail’s headline leaves things pretty ambiguous.) Well, apparently it has to do with the way the Duchess doth positioned her royal gams at the aforementioned reception. — specifically that she crossed one leg over the other, rather than assuming the traditional “Duchess slant.”
The smell test: Your first clue that this rumour reeks: the fact that the Mail can’t quote anyone more reliable than a random Facebook user (what, were all of the imaginary unnamed “palace sources” busy?). It’s true, Meghan did cross her legs in public, but she switched to a slant pretty quickly, as you can see in the accompanying video. Or don’t see. Because the only thing we really need to know here (the only reason such leg etiquette exists) is that there was no accidental flashing of any “bits,” as the Brits like to call them. Besides, if the Queen wants to take issue with limb positioning, she could chat with her grandson about his gratuitous man-spreading.
The rumour: Meghan and Harry are having a baby … and it’s a girl!
Where you heard it: New Idea magazine
The report: The stork will soon be swooping into Buckingham Palace, according to a new cover story that claims the Duchess of Sussex is officially pregnant with her first royal progeny — and it’s a girl! As the source of this felicitous tidbit, New Idea sites a press release direct from Kensington Palace along with an unnamed photographer who says Meghan’s positioning in last week’s balcony photo is further proof that she’s hiding a bump.
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The smell test: Like the vast majority of celebrity pregnancy rumours, this one stinks to Her Majesty’s high heaven. New Idea mag in particular seems to have a penchant for falsified royal bump reports: here’s a story about MM being pregnant from 2016, here’s another one confirming twins from earlier this month. As for this latest contention … let’s assume the happy couple waited until after the wedding to attempt procreation (wedlock being a pretty serious preggo prerequisite in this particular circle). Even if the royal wedding was planned to line up with her reproductive cycle, she could still be, at most, five weeks along (i.e., too soon to know about gender). Needless to say, there is no way Kensington Palace would issue any sort of announcement at such an early stage. As for the whole “hiding her belly in the balcony pic” thing, pretty sure the Duchess’s positioning came down to her royal rank and not her protruding tummy.
The rumour: Thomas Markle is picking a fight with the Queen
Where you heard it: The Cut
The report: Is there anyone who loves to tell tales out of school as much as Thomas Markle? For this week’s episode of The Duchess’s Dad Does Something Bad™, we have an interview with TMZ (yes, another one), where Papa M sounds off on a scheduled upcoming meeting between Queen Elizabeth and Donald Trump, telling the pub: “If the Queen is willing to meet our arrogant and insensitive president she has no excuse not to meet me, I’m nowhere near as bad.”
The smell test: Makes crass inappropriate statements without thinking them through, blames the media for his woes, wears ill-fitting clothing … Thomas Markle may not be “as bad” as a certain American President, but the two men certainly have their similarities. Do TM’s latest comments qualify as “picking a fight” with her Majesty, as The Cut contends? Well, yes (in that he is certainly not ingratiating himself by issuing ultimatums through gossip news sites), but no (in that QE2 has better things to do than fight with attention seeking in-laws). One does wonder if there’s a point at which MI-6 (a.k.a. Her Majesty’s Secret Service) will offer Meghan’s dad a pile of cash to disappear forever. Until then, we await the next instalment.