What To Watch On Netflix Tonight, According To Your Zodiac Sign
Most people use their horoscopes to help them navigate high-stakes decisions around career and relationships. But it turns out the zodiac can also be helpful in answering life’s most common (if slightly less consequential) conundrum: What should I watch tonight? Here, an astrologically informed guide to choosing your ideal Netflix options. Because Mercury may be in retrograde, but, man, there are a lot of shows out there.
Netflix Horoscopes
ARIES
The Crown: Because strong, assertive women are Aries’ cup of tea (cough, cough), this series dramatizing the life of Britain’s still-reigning QE2 should fit like, well, a crown.
Glow: An all-female wrestling league delivers big hair and big egos.
Flashback for Aries: Working Girl
TAURUS
Gilmore Girls: Boyfriends come and go, but mother/daughter bonds (and the coffee at Luke’s Diner) are two things a stability-loving Taurus can really count on.
Drop Dead Diva: A vapid model is reincarnated as a plus-sized lawyer in this juicy dramedy that takes a sly swipe at Taurus’ obsession with surface beauty.
Flashback for Taurus: Clueless
GEMINI
The Layover: Gem’s giant appetite for adventure means she will enjoy living (end eating) vicariously through everybody’s favourite bad-boy chef, Anthony Bourdain. (He isn’t a Gemini, but he really should be.)
Riverdale: The constant twists/turns/trysts of this CW soap (a darker take on the beloved comic gang of your childhood) should counter Gemini’s tendency toward distraction. Plus, two key characters are twins!
Flashback for Gemini: Jem and the Holograms
CANCER
The Fosters: This Kleenex-required family drama about two moms raising a family of former foster kids will appeal to Cancer’s clannish instincts.
One Day At A Time (2017): A remake of the classic seventies sitcom (that scored excellent reviews when it premiered last winter) is a Cancer-friendly nostalgia-fest. And actually funny.
Flashback: How To Make An American Quilt
LEO
The Fall: Brave Leos will enjoy this terrifying and excellent cat-and-mouse series about a serial killer and the totally badass cop who tracks him, played by the fearless Gillian Anderson.
The Mindy Project: For the more cowardly lions, this hilarious series also has a fearless female at the centre. No serial killers, many bad boyfriends.
Flashback for Leo: Basic Instinct
VIRGO
Scott & Bailey: Virgos love solving mysteries and giving advice, which makes this British crime drama about two top female cops with extremely messy personal lives a perfect fit.
The Keepers: Virgos will also enjoy trying their hand at solving a real-life caper. This true crime doc digs deep into the 1969 unsolved murder of Sister Cathy Cesnik and related sexual abuse allegations at an all-girls Catholic high school in Baltimore.
Flashback for Virgo: The Sixth Sense
LIBRA
American Crime: A critically hailed ensemble drama that looks at crime, race and privilege in America will have Libra contemplating the true meaning of justice for weeks.
Get Me Roger Stone: A splashy doc about the political mastermind that got Trump elected. You will definitely yell at your TV.
Flashback for Libra: 13 Going On 30
SCORPIO
Gypsy: This Naomi Watts series about a psychiatrist who is all kinds of complicated is exactly the sort of erotic drama that Scorp craves.
Flaked and BoJack Horseman: Will Arnett’s Netflix canon ranges from depressed, immature man-boy to depressed, immature horse-boy horse. Either one will suit Scorpio’s taste for dark humour.
Flashback for Scorpio: Fatal Attraction
SAGITTARIUS
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Like the titular heroine, you’re idealistic, fun and up for anything. Unlike Kimmy, you probably didn’t spend years trapped in a bunker.
Outlander: Sags, who are addicted to travel and adventure, will enjoy this epic British series about an English nurse in World War Two who gets swept back in time to the Scottish rebellion in the late eighteenth century. Romantic entanglements ensue.
Flashback for Sagittarius: Under the Tuscan Sun
CAPRICORN
Ozark: Ambitious Caps will appreciate the entrepreneurial instincts of a suburban bean counter, played by Jason Bateman, who moves to America’s swamplands to start a drug-running operation. (Bonus: the new series just got the green light for a second season.)
Amanda Knox: Your black-and-white instincts will be challenged by this 2016 documentary about one of the most famous murder suspects ever, and the media who made her a star.
Flashback for Capricorn: Knocked Up
AQUARIUS
Luther: For true Aquarians, this British detective series about a brooding lone wolf with a burning intellect will be like looking in a mirror, except — bonus — you’ll be looking at Idris Elba!
The Eagles: See what happens when five real-life creative lone wolves spend decades touring together in this excellent rock doc.
Flashback for Aquarius: The Breakfast Club
Pisces
Love: Devoted Pisces loves an underdog. This offbeat romantic comedy series (produced by Judd Apatow) about an unlikely romance set in contemporary Los Angeles features two.
Animal Kingdom: You’re the last sign on the zodiac calendar, which is why everyone expects you to be super deep. Really though, Pisces appreciates a fun escape. This series — starring the great Ellen Barkin as a crime boss whose hunky sons do her dirty work — is definitely that.
Flashback for Pisces: Freaky Friday
MORE: Check Out The Trailer For The Crown Season 2 (And Find Out When The Show Premieres) Riverdale's Hermione Lodge Gives The Lowdown On Season 2 (And Mark Consuelos As Veronica's Dad) The Problem With Johnny, And 9 Other Reasons I Hated Dirty Dancing
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