Sex & Relationships

He says, she says... on vacations

Married couple Dave and Lisa dish on separate vacations, working by the pool and splurging on the upgraded room

Lisa: How would you feel if I decided to take off on a vacation with friends? I think it’d be fun – a girls’ weekend shopping in New York, for example – but I get the feeling I’d miss you. Also, I think I’d be jealous if it were the other way around.

Dave: A weekend in New York? Sounds fun. Two weeks in New Zealand? That’s where I’d start feeling rejected. It has the ring of separate vacations, which I think sounds similar to separate beds. Am I too old-fashioned?

Lisa: I don’t think you’re old-fashioned. We just have such similar interests that one of us would feel as if they were missing out. (It would be different if you really loved model airplanes and were planning a trip to the Model Aircraft Museum in Texas. I’d let you go, gladly.) On the few occasions that I’ve travelled on my own, I’ve missed having someone to sightsee with, to share cool experiences. Also, when you’re going solo you don’t have anyone to take your picture in front of, say, Buckingham Palace.

Dave: But do you feel like you need to get away from me?

Lisa: Of course. But usually a day at home by myself is satisfactory. Even if I just end up doing laundry or cleaning the bathroom, it feels good to be able to watch Dr. Phil without feeling like I’m boring you.

Dave: That’s my dream holiday: taking two weeks off work and staying home. You can join me for a few days if you like, but I don’t want you filling up my days with stuff – going to the mall, touring Home Depot, retiling the kitchen…I want to take two weeks and spend them as slothfully as possible.

Because we work full-time, it’s really tricky finding time that we can both take off together. I don’t like the idea of taking the laptop with us anymore than you do. But considering how hard it is to even find time for a vacation, I’ll gladly answer a few emails if that’s what it takes.

Lisa: I disagree. We need to take more days off, without any thought of work. Too many people I know lose their vacation days because they don’t take them in time. Though I also have a hard time spending a lot on a holiday. Winter often makes me want to pull out the credit card and book a flight somewhere warm.

Dave: I feel like you’ve got to splurge when you’re on vacation. The only regrets I’ve ever had about past holidays are the times when we tried to save a few bucks and grabbed a cruddy motel instead of forking out for the suite.

Lisa: Agreed. I’ll never forget the Motel 6 room in Flagstaff, Arizona, that came with a half-eaten pizza under the bed.

Dave: Hey, that pizza wasn’t half-bad.

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