Living

Experimenting with adult toys

I'd like to experiment with sex toys in our bedroom. What adult toys do you recommend for beginners?

Sex toys are a fun way to introduce more playfulness and sensation into your bedroom. The selection at adult novelty stores can be overwhelming. Give these a try:

Lubricants

Lubricants enhance sensations; they can make sex sweeter, hotter and more aromatic. Scented oil-based products such as massage oil are best used externally because they could irritate your genitals. For intercourse, I’d recommend clear, colourless water-based lubricant, which is less likely to cause vaginal irritation or a yeast infection.

The classic vibrators

There are many popular styles of vibrators, such as the small, hand-held wand style and the rabbit model, which has protruding ears to stimulate your clitoris. Most couples start with the small non-insertive style of vibrators—they’re less intimidating and are usually less expensive. Plastic moulded vibrators are best used on the genitals, rather than for penetration, because for most women, external clitoral vibration is more pleasurable than vibration within the vagina. You’re not the only one who will get pleasure out of a vibrator. Men have nerves that are equally sensitive so consider his body as much of a playground as yours. When you’re using a vibrator, don’t go directly to the most sensitive bits first or you could shock the delicate nerves and it may feel too intense. And don’t concentrate the sensation so intensely that you numb one area. Instead, move the vibrator in circles or back and forth and vary the pressure. Vibration on the clitoral area may be too intense for some women, so try stimulating the side of the labia instead. Since the “legs” of the clitoris run underneath the labia, vibration there can be intensely pleasurable.

G-spot vibrators

These vibrators can be outstanding as long as they have a curve, have no sharp seams on the end and are solid, not hollow. The best ones vibrate in the tip, which will be in contact with the front vaginal wall, enabling stimulation of the G-spot. Solid is better because the G-spot is just above the vaginal wall, not in it, so you need a vibrator that’s sturdy enough to create enough pressure against the vaginal wall to stimulate it.

The new vibrators

Tiny vibrators that can be attached to your finger, the base of a penis shaft or your tongue can take oral sex to a completely new level for both sexes. Also, try vibrators that suction onto various body parts, such as the nipples.

Ready to start exploring each other with sex toys? Try ordering online from a retailer such as www.comeasyouare.com.

Lou Paget is a sex educator and the best-selling author of The Big O (Broadway).