What is a celebrity mommy-rexic?

Stephen Lovekin, Getty Images

What is happening to the traditional appearance of pregnancy among celebrities? According to The Daily Mail, Mother Nature’s greatest miracle is being hijacked by body-conscious celebrities such as January Jones and Victoria Beckham who appear to be able to gestate a fetus without the addition of that all-important extra layer. You can’t pinch an inch on these Pilates-taut and yoga-toned mothers-to-be—just try it, Bub! 

According to the UK paper, celeb ‘Mommyrexics’ and their incredibly shrinking baby bumps are responsible for an increase in baby weight hysteria among women. Says the Mail: “The trend is so prevalent, that a whole industry has emerged around the so-called 'mommyrexics', who are prepared to pay top dollar for personal trainers in a bid to restore their pre-pregnancy physiques.” 

The piece rounds up a couple of goofball fitness trainers and vanity spokespeople to substantiate the “trend,” (which, if true, would more accurately be called a disorder so why the heck are we talking to a fitness trainer about it?). These experts confirm that more and more women are working out fiendishly both during and after pregnancy, and so much so that fitness clothing makers are catching on to the trend and making teeny-tiny maternity workout wear.

I turn my head only to realize that loud screaming is indeed coming from my own mouth.   

While I don’t dispute the paper’s claims that women are negatively influenced by images of female celebrities who appear impossibly slim while pregnant—I’m sure there’s a measure of truth to that claim. The Daily Mail, which rarely takes a pause in its ceaseless scrutiny of celebs’ bodies (see this article on Elle Macpherson’s shin!), has a lot of nerve to lay the blame for the skinny mommy hysteria on Victoria Beckham and January Jones.

If the paper were to be completely honest in its reportage the headline should actually read: “Mommyrexics represent the triumph of predatory media: cabal of misogynistic media outlets obliterate fat women once and for all!” 

Next trend: Lobotomies. They make you skinny!   

To blame January Jones for the unceasing cultural pressure that literally starves her into grim compliance—even when pregnant—isn’t just disingenuous on the part of papers like the Mail; it’s convenient. 

Here’s hoping that women, fat, slim, and shaped like apples, pears or bananas, have enough self awareness to realize when they’re being manipulated by creepy publications. Posh Spice may not be in a position to challenge the values of a culture that tells her she’s too fat to be counted human, but regular women surely can. If not, look forward to maternity workout wear being universally issued along with folic acid and a copy of What to Expect When You’re Expecting.