March 2015 food horoscopes

What’s in store for you (and your palate) in the coming month.

food horoscopes

Illustration, LeeAndra Cianci.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Hey, hey, slow down! You’re pushed to rush-rush-rush this month, and inevitably things are going to get lost in the shuffle. Take some time out to focus and bake maple-bacon cupcakes (and don’t forget to follow the recipe, little Ms. Scatterbrain!). By mid-month you’ll be settled again and ready for a good hearty bowl of beef-barley soup with homemade bread on the side. You don’t ever need any convincing to carve out some “me time” but just make sure you enjoy it with a fancy cocktail or a platterful of banoffee tarts. Caramel is your key ingredient his month (lucky you!).

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You love your weeknight routine, but this is a perfect time to switch it up just a bit. You’ve heard of Meatless Mondays; let’s talk about making some tostadas for Watermelon Wednesdays! And while you’re at it, it’s high time you hosted that dinner party you’ve been promising. Keep up the change mentality and consider serving duck — everyone will be in awe, and you’ll be surprised how easy and delicious it is. Finish of with the world’s easiest show-stopping dessert, chocolate pâté. Potatoes are your key ingredient this month.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

You’ve been dreading that potluck or office ‘do, so just choose something awesome to cook, such as polenta lasagna or chocolate coconut bars, and decide you’re going to have fun with it after all. Either one of these gluten-free dishes will bring you into contact with a new friend (or lover!) who isn’t eating wheat right now. Friends are front and centre at the end of the month so treat your besties to a fun meal of gourmet grilled cheese and chocolate fondue. Oranges are your key ingredient this month.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You’re going to be really busy at work this month, so make a big batch of chorizo-kale soup and yummy wheatberry salad to get you through all your desk lunch hours. It’s ok, by mid-month you’ll have some time back for your favourite baking projects like cheddar scones or ginger-chocolate cookies (bring some into work to cheer up your colleagues, won’t you?). Someone in your family is annoyed by that thing you said; the next time you see them, hand over a loaf of cinnamon-raisin bread and all will be forgotten. Cranberries are your key ingredient this month.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You’re feeling all gooey and generous right now so get everyone over for a lavish cocktail party. No need for caviar, just wow them with balsamic figs and sesame halloumi. Once the glitter settles you’ll be ready to tighten the proverbial belt and stick to affordable vegetarian dinners such as huevos rancheros. There’s a chance for romance (or just plain old lust) at the end of the month: invite that hottie over for a pot of cheese fondue and let the magic happen. Chilies are your key ingredient this month.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You’re about to fall in love…with edamame! They’re not just for sushi night anymore and you cannot get enough, from hummus to fried rice to soba salad. It’s a superfood, so go for it. If you need a healthy treat, a few chocolate-date truffles will be just enough to satisfy without going overboard. This is a great month to entertain, and there’s nothing better than roast chicken with grapes for the centerpiece of a memorable dinner party. Edamame is your key ingredient this month (obviously!).

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

There’s going to be some unpredictability in your love life in the near future, so if you’re planning a date night, choose a make-ahead slow-cooker beef bourguignon. If everything goes pear-shaped, just share it with your roommate or neighbour. This month is all about drinkable breakfasts, but lunchtimes will find you craving spicy food such as shrimp and mango noodle salad. And by the end of the month you’ll want to cuddle down with a dish of rice pudding for dinner (no judgment, there’s protein in there!). Blueberries are your key ingredient this month.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

You’re going to need to reorganize your day-to-day routine at some point this month, and a solid breakfast of homemade muesli is just the way to start on the right foot. By the middle of the month you’ll be itching to learn something new so expand your already-mad cooking skillz and fold up some dumplings. That special someone in your life secretly loves pudding (what?!) so knock their socks of with a dulce de leche version. Pork is your key ingredient this month.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Your home life is a gong show right now, so keep dinners simple with peanut noodles or easy salmon cakes. When it’s all said and done, someone is going to need some serious comfort food (it might be you) so cancel whatever plans you have and bake a pan of monkey bread together. By the middle of the month, things will feel more settled, so if you need some spice, eat Thai curry. Limes are your key ingredient this month.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Yes, it’s still officially winter but you can feel free to scream “welcome to spring!” with fresh salmon salad. By the end of the month it will really be spring and you can celebrate properly with lemon tart. Expectations are high for your performance at work; show off your confidence and creativity with a glorious desk lunch of collard wraps. And when the office asks for a contribution to the charity fundraiser, show up with a batch of sticky toffee shortbread bars and a smile. Salmon is your key ingredient this month.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You need to watch your pennies just for a little while but that’s ok, homemade stir fry and pad Thai are way better than takeout anyways. You might need some validation around the middle of the month so make soup with grilled cheese croutons and post it on Facebook (it’s going to get a ton of likes). But by the end of the month you’ll be a roaring she-lion and ready to take on anything, particularly a sexy risotto dinner date with you-know-who. Snow peas are your key ingredient this month.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

There’s so much love in your life, but you need to feed your beloveds to get them to admit it; a bowl of chicken soup with dumplings will get them talking. Keep up the vibe by inviting some girls over for an old-fashioned TV night, and eat one-pan French onion mac and cheese on the couch with a box of red wine. You’re generally in control right now, so whip up a banana cream pie for a special surprise weeknight dessert. Chickpeas are your key ingredient this month.