Sex & Relationships

Wise Guys

How do you take a relationship from “no great expectations” to serious. Our all-male panel sinks its teeth into this and other touchy sex and relationship dilemmas

Dear Wise Guys:
I’ve been on a couple of dates with a guy I met online. We decided to begin the relationship as a “no great expectations” kind of thing, but have since been seeing each other for three months. It’s sexual, but things are fuzzy. I’d like the relationship to get more serious, but I don’t know how to approach it. Any ideas? Or is this a case of “he’s just not that into me”?

Dave, a happily married man, says:
He’s probably not if it’s been three months with no change, but you’re never going to know for sure unless you tell him. Go on a dinner date, and if it’s going well, let him know how much you enjoy being with him and that you’d like to get more serious. If he’s not that into you, cut your losses.

Bruce, a pal to countless gals, says:
If you want to talk about making your relationship more serious than an ongoing booty call, but worry that a Dr. Phil-type face-to-face might make him bolt, try dropping hints before having the big talk to get him used to the idea. Casually mention that you’ve deleted your online dating account and that you’d like to introduce him to your close friends (and maybe check if he’s deleted his, too). Gauging his reaction should give you a good idea of where you stand.

Patrick, brother of two sisters, says:
Don’t worry, fuzzy and sexual sounds like the way many serious relationships start! The difficult part is knowing how to migrate from “come over tonight” to “Mom, Dad, meet my new guy.” The best approach is honesty: if you want more commitment, let him know exactly what that entails and why you want it.

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