Dear wise guys,
Every Christmas, my husband’s office throws a party for employees and their spouses. Once the champagne starts pouring, without fail, one of my husband’s female colleagues starts batting her lashes at my guy. Her flirting completely crosses the line – she’s constantly touching him, asking him to dance and trying to catch his eye under the mistletoe. I’ve told my husband I find this really upsetting, but he just laughs and tells me not to worry. I trust my man, but this woman is so comfortable coming on to him that I’m starting to wonder if something’s going on.
What should I do?
Dave, a happily married husband, says:
This may be harmless, and you could alienate your husband by accusing him. Still, it’s how YOU feel that’s important. Tell him – again – why this bothers you and then remind him of what a good thing he’s already got by flirting with him yourself. If he doesn’t cut the home wrecker after that, it’s time to freeze his assets.
Bruce, a pal to countless gals, says:
If you believe there’s no mojo between your man and the mistletoe mama, then you need to shut her down without appearing possessive. And it probably wouldn’t hurt to remind your guy of that old country music credo: “Dance with the one that brung ya.” You can accomplish both by leading your man through a sizzling tango that clears the dance floor and reminds him, the mama and everyone else who he came with and why.
Patrick, brother of two sisters, says:
If I were you, I’d be angry. Having him brush aside your questions with laughter is not a good sign. Good partners don’t dismiss their lovers’ feelings. What should you do? Tell him how you feel, and then ask for an apology and a promise that it won’t happen again. To be fair, he may not fully comprehend how deeply this affects you – we lads seldom do until told point blank. So, put all the cards on the table, but put the poker face away. Guys are a sucker for a damsel in distress.
Got a dilemma to share?
Our wise guys will be answering your relationship questions each month.
Dave, a happily married husband
Despite sharing careers, two cats, one computer and a one-bedroom apartment with his wife of four years, happily-married Dave has yet to sleep on the couch.
Bruce, a pal to countless gals
Whether he’s telling you that your new skirt makes you look like your mother, or your new man makes you look like a doormat, Bruce knows tough love is served best with a stiff drink and a tub of ice cream.
Patrick, brother of two sisters
Patrick’s brotherly advice has resulted in two flourishing matches, one necessary divorce, and tons of lively family dinners.