Sex & Relationships

He says, she says... on nights out

A night out with the guys or gals is a surefire way to deal with winter cabin fever. Married couple Lisa and Dave dish on what really happens when you leave your spouse at home

How important is a spouse-free night to your relationship?

Dave: I’d say 75 per cent. Without regular contact with my buddies, I’d seriously worry that my testicles might disappear, to be replaced by an alarming amount of words to describe window treatments. Seriously, I call them “window treatments” now.
Lisa: I think it’s even more important than that. It’s fun to be out with the girls, but I also like to have a night to myself, to watch Gossip Girl and work on some crafty project. But I certainly can’t go to sleep until I know you’re on your way home.

The venue

Lisa: Sometimes it’s a fancy club that charges (too much) cover, sometimes it’s a grubby bar – but interestingly, a girls night out always involves dancing (probably because it’s something we can never get guys to do). We meet at someone’s house, have a few drinks and snacks, then go somewhere and dance to hits from our high school years.
Dave: We usually meet at the pub, maybe a ballgame or, most commonly, a combination of the two.

What to wear?

Dave: Same thing I’d wear if I were out with you – jeans, maybe a collared shirt. Thing is, all the unmarried friends can tell us husbands apart because our outfits show some level of co-ordination and we hardly ever comment on the hotness of the waitress. Some behaviours are learned, I guess.
Lisa: I can’t deny that I like to look good, but that doesn’t mean hoochie-wear. I don’t even own clothes like that. I’ll stick to my jeans and a nice black shirt, thanks. Actually, it’s basically what I wear to work, with a bit more eyeliner.

While the cat’s away the other will…

Dave: …sit on the couch. It’s funny, the thing I’m most excited about when you go out is having the house to myself. I like to order some takeout, cue up the kind of flick I know you’d never watch with me (no, not that kind of movie) and just enjoy some hang time with the dog. I totally look forward to it.
Lisa: I also sit on the couch. Maybe talk on the phone for an hour to my mom. String beads into necklaces. Sew something I’ve been meaning to make for weeks. Anything that would bore you to silly.

How “wild” the night gets (on a scale of 1 to 10)

Dave: Two, two-and-a-half. I’m embarrassed to admit how lame guys night out really is.
Lisa: It’s a three, tops. There’s certainly no dancing on the bar or flirting with bartenders. If anything, a night out at a bar makes me happy I’m coming home to you. Now that I’m married (and feeling too old for the bar scene) I feel a bit wiser, too, to the ways of the drunken dudes at the bar. The pickup lines are so much more laughable.

How “wild” you think the other’s night gets

Lisa: I’m sure it’s not even a five. Sorry, fellas. I know you’re just drinking beer and telling outrageous stories. In fact, it’s likely not much different from when we all go to the pub together. The conversation’s just a bit more gross. Thanks for saving it for when we’re not there.
Dave: Seven, judging by the way you look the next morning. (I’m kidding; you’re beautiful.)