Elizabeth should know. At one time, her brushes with the law and other criminals in the drug trade terrified and disgusted her parents and made neighbours shake their heads. But just like the boy in the video, who had to lose his dog and his family before he realized he had to change, Elizabeth needed to hit the bottom before she could start rebuilding her life. "Getting pregnant was the best thing that ever happened," she says without hesitation. "The minute I found out, my whole life changed."
It didn't happen all at once. Her first step was to quit smoking. She walked away from drugs. Slowly, she started to haul herself out of what she calls "the hole." Having grown up in a happy home where education, church and family dinners were a big deal, Elizabeth knew that was the kind of life she wanted for her baby. So, almost seven months pregnant, she graduated from high school. Then she reunited with her family and left the unhealthy relationship with her daughter's father. The tiny life growing inside gave her the courage, she says.
A few years later, she graduated from Mount Saint Vincent University with a degree in psychology. "I was so excited that she felt strong enough to look to the future," Norma says. Then came Elizabeth's biggest bravest step yet: about two years ago, she packed up her life in Halifax and moved to Calgary for a fresh start. Her criminal record had vanished—but the community's opinion of her hadn't. "I wanted a clean start, to move where nobody knows you, nobody can judge you."
The move has meant she can put her experiences to use with Calgary's youth. Before she began her current job speaking in schools last August—a position that allows her the same schedule as Montanna—she worked for a Calgary Boys and Girls Club program, helping young prostitutes get off the streets and back on track. David Staines, one of Elizabeth's colleagues, says he's thrilled to have someone so genuine on his team. "Working with youth is an art," he says. "Elizabeth has the natural ability and is so open and accepting of the young people she works with. Kids can spot a phoney from a mile away."
That's exactly why the Grade 6 students are still hooked on her presentation. Now they've been divided into four groups and are discussing the different ways Cole's behaviour hurt the people around him. Elizabeth moves from group to group, crouching down, gesturing with her hands and laughing at their jokes. What if they'd asked about her past? "I would never tell them everything," she says. "But if they ask, 'Have you ever been in trouble with the law?' I'd say, 'Yeah, when I was younger.'"
She's eager to share her story if it'll help troubled teens open up—especially the girls. "There are a lot of young women who think that they're in a hole they can't get out of," she explains. "And for every choice they make, it just gets deeper and deeper and harder to get them out." She hopes she can inspire these girls by showing them how far she's come.
Not that Elizabeth doesn't aim to go farther still. "I'm not out of my hole yet," she explains. "There are places in my life where I'd like to be." She dreams of becoming an in-school probation officer at a high school or maybe going back to university for a master's degree. "I'd also like to have a home with a garden and a dog and a yard," she says, smiling. For now, she's content simply hanging around with Montanna at the zoo or cuddling with her as they watch movies. Time with her daughter—and in these classrooms—reminds her of all the decision-making lessons she's learned.
"If I could go back and take back the hurtful things I did, I would," she says. "But when I look around at my life now, I'm like, 'Wow!' I'm really proud of what I've done."
4 expert tips Whether you're taking a personal finance course at a community college or simply noting a new ingredient in your favourite brand of ice cream, you're always educating yourself, explains Toronto life coach Karen Wright. A good thing too, since learning energizes us and makes us feel in control. Wright has a few quick steps we can follow to maximize the benefits that come with all forms of education. 1. Recognize your new knowledge "Whether humans know it or not they are learning something every single day," says Wright. So take a few seconds each evening to intentionally note what you've absorbed. Acknowledge that you've learned a new presentation skill at work or even a new exercise at the gym. 2. Note your highs and lows Think about the times in your life when you felt most happy and alert and when you felt low and bored. They will likely correlate with how much—or how little—you were using your brain. "If you're feeling blah," explains Wright, "decide to learn something new. Learn about the civil war, learn to paint with watercolours, learn to use your computer." Education brings a natural high. 3. Set your learning goals When you hit on a subject that interests you, Wright suggests asking yourself, "Do I want to know enough to be an expert, or do I want to know enough to have fun?" This can mean the difference between reading a book about perennials and doing your degree in botany. 4. Watch your confidence swell "Learning is power," Wright says. When we educate ourselves—about our health, our career options, etc.—we feel in control. We're also more equipped to ask questions. And with learning comes a huge ego boost: "It says to the world you have a functioning brain and you can use it." |
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