I crashed. Bed-ridden. Horizontal. Coughing pain, back pain, headaches, stomach pain, short of breath, no appetite, muscle spasms, weak, weak, weak… Just frightening and terrible. Helpless. Never alone, thank god. Angry: they let me get this way — they stopped trying to treat me. Am coming out of it now, I think. Was even out of bed for a couple of hours (almost) today, putting on a good show for Georgia. Must rest and recover. Must get some kind of treatment this week, some kind of help, from my oncologist. And MUST be well enough to go to Detroit Thursday to meet with study doctor. Must. Not. Give. Up.