Barky the Dog

Cough cough hack hack bark bark.


I’m coughing with the frequency and tone of a dog that wants to be let back in the house, or possibly put out of its misery. Bark, bark, bark. BARK, Baaaaaaark.  It’s even annoying to me, so I can’t imagine what music it must be to those around me.


We used to live in an apartment above this “Zen Buddhist” guy who had zero tolerance for noise.  So much so that he had identified and visited the owners of each barking dog in the neighbourhood.  When he failed to convince the pet owners that they needed to keep their dogs either inside or quiet at all times, he called the City to complain of “cruelty to animals” so that the owners would have their dogs taken from them, hopefully somewhere far enough away that this psychopath could resume his oneness with the universe in peace.


Way to rock the Zenosphere, guy.


Anyway that’s how I feel about my own little bark. I’ve so had it with it that I’d be willing to do underhanded and morally ambiguous things just to get rid of it. 


I am therefore grateful to the people who posted their home remedies – thank-you. 


My mom also called to remind me of a truly bizarre but really good tip: putting vicks vaporub on your feet at night will stop you from coughing. Yes, your feet.  I have no idea why, but it really does work. Slather the bottom of your feet up with a good thick coating, put your socks on, and its good-bye Barky the Dog, hello Mr. Sandman.


I’ll be under the duvet in my minty socks if you need me.

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