I’m trying to figure out a way to write this post without crossing the TMI line. So, I’m going to use a little bit of innuendo here instead of my usual blunt approach. I’m sure you’ll figure it out. If you were to ask your man to put a lock on the bedroom door, I bet he’d get right on it.
I put one on ours years ago. I’m pretty useful around the house when it comes to cooking and cleaning, but have a hard time with things like screwdrivers and pliers. Still, I decided one day that we never had a need for the lock on our en suite bathroom door, so I switched it for the handle on the bedroom door. It took me 10 minutes. An actual handy guy could have done it in five.
Now I’m going to explain why this is such a great idea: kids. To hell with innuendo. We’re talking about sex here. If you always wait for the kids to be asleep, you’ll have less of it. By the time you finally get the little ones off to bed at the end of the day you’re wiped and all you want to do is sleep. What’s more, there is always that stress that they might wake up while you’re right in the middle of things. So, I advise changing your whole mindset about this and just decide that life is like a Cialis commercial where the kids are just going to have to learn to ignore mommy and daddy private snuggles.
And don’t worry that this will scar your children. For the vast majority of human history parents and their children slept in the same room. Kids heard (and saw) things. They won’t wind up in therapy.
There is an episode of The Simpson’s that even teaches you how, when Homer says, “So kids, it’s Valentine’s Day and you know what that means? You get to stay downstairs watching TV with the sound turned way up!”
Been there, done that. Not just for Valentine’s either. The lock adds a sense of security that no one is going to barge in because someone looked cross-eyed at someone else or wouldn’t stay on his side of the couch. It takes some training to get the kids to understand that they’re supposed to leave you alone unless someone needs the Heimlich or the house is on fire, but it’s totally worth it. And don’t forget to turn that sound loud on the TV.