Humour

I’ve Finally Found A Supportive Partner In Bed

On finding the right body pillow.

An illustration of a woman sleeping on a man-shaped body pillow

(Illustration: Leeandra Cianci)

We met online, and I wasn’t in a great place at the time. Sleep was elusive, thanks to a heap of problems no life hack could solve and a painful lower-back injury from an intense self-care ex (in dark moments, I still miss you, CrossFit). My nights were long and lonely, and I longed for comfort. Desperate, I let my mom set me up with a weighted blanket.

As soon as I pulled it out of the box, I knew we wouldn’t work. The blanket was too heavy; I felt smothered under it. Was I really supposed to just lie under this big lunk and enjoy it? Been there, done that. I kicked the blanket off and sent it to a friend who was into the missionary position.

But the one-night stand was clarifying. I realized I didn’t want to be dominated in bed; I wanted support.I wanted a bedmate that knew its way around a woman’s body and was game to try different positions when things got boring. Was I being too picky?

During a late-night prowl on a certain e-commerce site, my head got turned by the sight of a body pillow.

Hello, sailor.

It was slim and tall, and, like a pint-sized leading man, didn’t overwhelm my queen-size bed. I scanned the description: Supportive. Soft. Keeps its shape. Durable, with comfort guaranteed to last all night.

Add to cart. Forty-eight hours later, it was at my door.

I took things slow with my body pillow. The first night, I used it to support my head and neck while I watched TV in bed. It was similar to an embrace, but softer—my pillow has no bones or muscles or weird smells.

A few nights later, I slid it between my knees while I lay on my side. My lower-back pain, which usually struck whenever I shifted my weight, dialled down to a light hum. Make that humana humana.

Our rapport grew more serious over time. I recently found myself rhapsodizing about my body pillow at work and realized I wanted nothing more than to slide into bed and wrap my arms around it for the rest of my life. Or until someone invented a better body pillow.

Six months later, my body pillow and I are as entwined as a koala and a eucalyptus tree, seven evenings a week—sometimes twice on Sunday.

I finally found the most supportive sleep partner I’ve ever had—and yes, it lasts all night.

Get Chatelaine in your inbox!

Our very best stories, recipes, style and shopping tips, horoscopes and special offers. Delivered a couple of times a week.
FILED UNDER: