Social quandary: Should I hang out with my married colleague?

She wants her friendship with her colleague to stay the same, but she suspects he might have romantic feelings for her.



Grant Item Blazer, Club Monaco.

Have you found yourself in an awkward situation? Has someone irked you and you’re not sure how best to proceed? If so, you’re not alone! Every week, we feature a reader-submitted quandary so that you can weigh in with your best advice. What would you do in their situation? If you’d like to submit your own quandary, click here.

I’ve known my colleague John for about a year. Though we’ve never socialized outside of work, I consider him a friend and we share common interests. He recently invited me out to a concert of a band we’re both big fans of — but I’m not sure how to respond.

I’m happily married and he’s been in a committed relationship for years. His girlfriend works out of town a lot and she’s away for the next month. Normally I wouldn’t hesitate to agree to a friendly outing with a co-worker, but this time I’m a bit wary. I suspect he has developed a small crush on me; he compliments me a bit too often and his gaze lingers longer than it should. I could be overanalyzing or just being sensitive, but if my suspicions are correct, I wouldn’t want to encourage romantic feelings. I also don’t want to make things uncomfortable at work. What’s the best way to proceed?

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Read our previous social quandaries here.