Social quandary: I need to end this friendship

Should this reader tell her friend she wants to end the friendship or should she stop answering her calls and hope she'll get the idea?


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Have you found yourself in an awkward situation? Has someone irked you and you’re not sure how best to proceed? If so, you’re not alone. Every week, we’ll be featuring a reader-submitted quandary so that you can help weigh in and give your input. What would you do in their situation? If you’d like to submit your own quandary, click here.

Quandary of the week:

I have been trying to break up with a girlfriend. We’ve been close on-and off for over 20 years, and it feels like we’ve been through a lot together and we know each other really well. But in the past 2 years things have changed; we’ve become very different people and we have no common ground. Our conversations typically revolve around people we know from school, what our families are up to, and that’s about it. Well, that and she likes to share every last detail of the feud she’s having with her colleague or of the various guys she has crushes on. I feel obligated to spend time with her but I don’t enjoy it, in fact it irritates me! She clearly still wants to be buddies and hang out, but I’m done with it. I don’t want to be friends anymore. Do I tell her directly that I want to break up? Or do I gently stop answering her calls and emails and hope that she gets the idea?

Please comment below and help this reader with your feedback.

Read our previous social quandaries here.


Social quandary update:

We posted this reader quandary on Facebook and got a lot of great feedback. Go to and go to May 20 (use the menu on the right side by clicking 2013) to read the comments. This reader later told us that she found everyone’s advice helpful, but was still torn about it. She worries that a conversation may make her friend feel worse. For the time being she has decided to “go quiet” and will see how that goes.