The English love to drink. The English love weddings.
That’s why the marriage of William and Kate (a.k.a. Catherine) is the social equivalent of the perfect storm.
Not only has April 29th been declared a public holiday in the UK (meaning the tens of thousands of London coppers being paid to control and protect will be making double-time), the British authorities have also announced that pubs can stay open until 1am on April 29th and 30th – giving royal revelers an extra hour to get totally trolleyed! (Note: In the UK you can add the suffix “ed” to any noun in order to connote getting very drunk.)
Perhaps, following the lead of the UK allowing people an extra hour to get totally chesterfielded (see, it works!), this week the Ontario government said it would consider requests to lengthen drinking hours on the day of our future King’s wedding.
Attorney General Chris Bentley, who recently referred to the “brewing excitement” of the royal nuptials, seemed open to extending drinking hours, but said that the ultimate decision is up to the Alcohol and Gaming Commission of Ontario. No pressure there, boys!
There is some precedent, however. Ontario extended drinking hours for last summer’s World Cup, allowing restaurants and bars to serve booze an hour earlier, during the month-long tournament. Given that the wedding starts at 11am GMT, I don’t think a single hour earlier is going to cut it. Mr. Bentley, would you (and your good pals at the AGCO) consider a 5am EST kick-off for Bloody Caesars and Molson Golden? That way, all Canadians can honour our future King by getting totally and utterly dog–sledded.