Was The Queen Trolling Donald Trump With Her Brooches?

The rumour: The Queen was trolling Donald Trump with her brooches

Where you heard it: A Twitter user named @SamuraiKnitter first introduced this theory, which has since been picked up by a bunch of media outlets The report: The American president visited the UK last week and spent time in the company of Her Majesty, as tradition dictates. All was proper on the surface (of course it was!), but a closer inspection of QE2’s brooch selection suggests she may have been staging a jewel-encrusted revolt: On day one of POTUS’s visit she wore a pin that was a gift from Barack and Michelle Obama (ouch!). Day two was a sapphire-studded snowflake brooch gifted to her by the Canadian people in 2017 (it’s no secret that U.S./Canadian relations are a little testy at the moment). And on day three (when the Queen actually met with Trump in person) she wore a diamond number that once belonged to the Queen Mum. Apparently “jewel watchers nearly died,” because it was the very brooch the QM wore to her husband’s (the Queen’s dad’s) state funeral, and features in the famous photograph “Three Queens in Mourning.” The smell test: As @SamuraiKnitter points out, Her Majesty has more brooches than most of us have skin cells, meaning her options are endless and (as historians and/or The Crown fans are well aware) her choices are always pointed. Rarely one to make waves on the surface The Queen is, well, the Queen of subtle subterfuge — a category that now includes #broochwarfare.

The rumour: Meghan Markle has ditched her American friends since the wedding

Where you heard it: Radar
The report: Her American accent may not be the only thing that he actress-turned-duchess has ditched recently. This according to a new Radar story in which (you guessed it) an unnamed source claims MM is “leaving her American friends and family in her glittering dust.” Apparently her pre-prince posse is feeling a little bit “dumped”: “First, they attended her wedding at their own expense, and now Meghan is a little too busy for all of them,” says the source. The smell test: One thing that smells fresher than a bar of Irish Spring is the fact that the newest royal has been incredibly busy since joining The Firm. It’s like when a friend gets all consumed by a new job — except this job runs round the clock (and requires regular outfit changes). So has MM’s schedule been a little nuts over the last two months to the point that she may not be keeping up with her correspondences? You’re bloody right it has. But is she leaving her old friends behind? That’s not what we saw last weekend when she sat courtside at Wimbledon in support of one American bestie Serena Williams. She has also been keeping up close ties with Jessica Mulroney who — sure — is Canadian, but basically the Radar story wants us to believe that royal Meghan is too good for her plebeian pals when the evidence suggests otherwise.

The rumour: Meghan is unhappy in her new life

Where you heard it: Thomas Markle
The report: It wouldn’t be a week if we didn’t have a new T-Mark rumour to dissect, only this time Markle’s dad is the source, not the subject. In a tell-all interview with The Sun (yes another one), the family patriarch explains how much it hurts to be totally cut off from his daughter, and also how he suspects she is not happy in her new life. “My thing about my daughter right now is that I think she is terrified … I know her smile. I don’t like the one I’m seeing now. This one isn’t even a stage smile — this is a pained smile.”

The smell test: Just a theory here, but has Thomas Markle considered the fact that his daughter’s “pained smile” may be the result of unruly relative-related anxiety? Which is not to say that royal life doesn’t look stressful and, yes, maybe even a little bit painful. The transition from total independence to a life dictated by pointless protocol has got to be draining. MM appears to have lost a lot of weight since joining the royals, and if we’re being honest, her smile does seem a little, well Stepford-ian. Still, her dad’s comments are not helping matters and if she's "terrified" of anything, it's what dear old dad will say next.

The rumour: Meghan Markle has an 11-person entourage

Where you heard it: The Daily Mail
The report: The Duchess travelled to Ireland last week to accompany her hubby on a royal visit and apparently she didn’t travel light. The Mail’s article is basically just a laundry list of the inflated entourage in question, which includes one hairdresser, Markle’s personal assistant Amy Pickerill, Prince Harry’s private secretary and foreign issue adviser, plus four extra press people, including a social media officer. The smell test: First, some basic math: 1 hairdresser + 1 assistant + 1 private secretary + 1 foreign issues guy + 4 press people = 8, not 11. And why is this group being positioned as her entourage when all but the hairdresser and one assistant appear to be working for both the Duke and the Duchess? This smells more like garden variety sexism than cause for legit complaint. Besides, those messy buns and sophisticated chignons aren’t going to do themselves.