Money & Career

Do you resent Father's Day?

With Father’s Day just around the corner, families across Canada are getting ready to celebrate their dads. But the results of a new survey by ForbesWoman and TheBump.com shows that some of us might be gritting our teeth while we carry that breakfast tray to our partners on Sunday morning.

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Masterfile

With Father’s Day just around the corner, families across Canada are getting ready to celebrate their dads. But the results of a new survey by ForbesWoman and TheBump.com shows that some of us might be gritting our teeth while we carry that breakfast tray to our partners on Sunday morning. 
The survey results points to a major imbalance in the way mothers and fathers approach their parenting roles — and it shows growing resentment, particularly among working mothers who say they still shoulder most of the work at home, including parenting, cooking, and cleaning. In fact, 63 percent of working women answered yes when asked if they feel like married single moms – and 66 percent of stay at home moms said yes to the same question. 
Women are spending more time at work and more time with the kids — and since there are still only 24 hours in a day, most are feeling overwhelmed trying to balance it all. Moreover, many of them never get a break. Some key results:
  • 44 percent of working moms earn most of the annual household income
  • 47 percent of working moms say they almost never get a break but 93 percent say their partners get time out
  • 92 percent of working moms say they are overwhelmed with workplace, home and parenting responsibilities (8 percent say “almost never”).
  • 1 in 3 working moms say their partners could definitely be more helpful or supportive in parenting.
  • 70 percent of working moms feel resentful towards their partners over shared parenting duties. 
The survey results probably aren’t news to anyone trying to raise a family and balance everyone’s needs. But it does raise an important question — do the fathers in these families see and understand what’s going on and the toll its taking on their partners? I’d definitely like to see a follow up survey from the other perspective.

In my house, resentment can build up really easily — my husband and I are in a constant process of negotiation around who does what and how much. Neither of us gets much down time and both of us share duties around the house pretty equally (contrary to the survey results). 

He does all the cleaning and cooking while I’m the one who keeps the kids organized. We both work, but since my job can be more time consuming, he sometimes has to take the kids on weekends so I can catch up.

It’s a balance that doesn’t always work — when it’s off, it’s really easy to feel neglected and overlooked. Both of us have felt that way at some time or other. For us, talking is really important.

How do you handle the balance in your family? And do you feel like you shoulder the most work around the home and work-wise?