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A foolproof plan for avoiding jerks: if your ego can take it

If you’re sick of meeting creeps and really can’t stomach one more minute of the gym-rat lothario’s suggestive banter, there is a practical solution, say scientists.

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Masterfile

If you’re sick of meeting creeps and can’t stomach one more minute of that gym-rat lothario’s suggestive banter, there is a practical solution say scientists (via The Daily Mail). The trick: make sure you’re the homeliest gal in the room. 

You don’t have to don a fake beard to disguise your obvious appeal. Just surround yourself with a bevy of more attractive women. That’s right, the antidote to unwanted advances from unappealing men is consuming a heaping platter of humble pie (make that pie à la mode, science nerds, and I’m game).   

How did scientists come up with this strange advice? By studying the mating habits of the Trinidadian guppy. According to their observations, female fish that “didn’t want to mate,” or couldn’t be bothered to wash their hair, protected themselves from woo-minded male fish by hanging out in a clique of better-looking female fish who were game for a little scale-to-scale action. In a sense, these more attractive female fish acted as human shields, guarding the homelier (I also want to say wiser for some reason) female fish from the clumsy advances of male guppies with only one thing on their very tiny minds. 

But if the advice leaves a little to be desired—who wants to be the least appealing woman in the room (besides me, anyway)—bear in mind there are benefits to the plan. Major benefit number one: you get to eat more. 

The researchers found that the female guppies that didn’t get bugged by the lusty male fish had more opportunities for finding food and protecting themselves from predators. So, if all you really want to do is hit the desserts table at the office Christmas party then stand next to the beautiful young intern. As she takes the brunt of that supremely obnoxious sales rep’s chatter, you can take a pleasure bath in the chocolate fountain.

It’s a win-win.