When you’re in those blissful early stages of love, it’s hard to imagine what could possibly happen to upset the lovely world you’ve created. How could it possibly go wrong? But, inevitably, since all people are flawed in their very own special ways, cracks start appearing in a seemingly perfect facade. Sometimes those flaws seem minor and reasonable, and well worth navigating for the sake of something that’s mostly wonderful. But other times, you and your partner find cracks that you can’t repair and you can’t live with, things that doom the relationship. So what are those things that are most likely to break up a hitherto happy couple?
According to a recent story by Alice G. Walton over at The Atlantic, there are three key warning signs that a happy relationship won’t last:
1. Poor communication, particularly usage of blame, invalidation and discouraging a partner from sharing feelings
2. Verbal aggression, also known as verbal abuse, in all of its forms
3. Inappropriate pessimism, including how a partner perceives his or her life and situation.
It makes sense that poor communication, negativity, a lack of support and aggression or blaming can drag a couple down and put an end to both the fun and the function. As Walton points out, these problems don’t have to derail an otherwise great relationship – provided that both partners are committed to improving things. She also points to another study that makes a no-brainer connection to the idea that happy people are more likely to be happy in relationships; though it can also be the other way around. But having a positive perspective – and being around people who share that positivism – can improve the quality of your life and your relationships.
And while it can be tough to see too far down the road when you’re in the throws of passionate love, it’s worthwhile to take a step back and take a little inventory of the situation before making any big commitments.