Six sexy holiday gift ideas from our sexpert

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That time of year is upon as again, when we open our hearts to giving and our bank accounts for draining. It is also the time of year that I am swamped with questions surrounding sexy holiday gift ideas. Instead of the typical romantic top five however, I’ve decided to mix in a couple of the usual with one or two that may add a touch more shock value than your hand-held, two-headed dolphin vibrator that everyone assumes is waterproof (just because its shaped like a dolphin, doesn’t mean it’s meant to swim).

1. Vajazzling
While regular upkeep and waxing down below may be the norm, many women nowadays are going just that one step further. Vajazzling is the process of applying glitter and/or jewels to a woman’s private region. While this ‘gift’ may not come in a box, it does decorate well, and takes the notion of sexy lingerie to a whole new level.

2. Shower sex cuffs
Sex toy-based handcuffs – usually furry in nature and easily broken by anyone who hits the gym once a year – are a common gift for those willing to explore sexually, without stepping too far out of their comfort zone. So, for my dear friends that wish to play cops and robbers this Christmas, I offer you a new version on the toy. These waterproof shower sex cuffs are made with industrial strength suction cups and can be used not only for shower time, but for the exhibitionists in all of us, they can also stick to windows and all flat surfaces.

3. I Rub My Duckie holiday ornament

This rubber ducky may look innocent, but its vibes spread a lot more than cheer this holiday season. The duck comes in a removable ornamental casing and is waterproof, quiet, and can hang on your Christmas tree beside the candy canes and reindeer. Simply take this powerful vibrator down to keep you company on cold winter nights, and put it back in the morning with the family none the wiser.

4.MIUZU Chaise Longue chair

Like the Rub My Duckie, sometimes the best sexual gifts are the ones that are steeped in secrecy. This chaise may look modern, contemporary and comfortable – and it is – but it also holds another unseen truth: it is flawlessly designed to assist every couple in aligning themselves perfectly in countless sexual positions. The angles of the chaise contour themselves impeccably, so that you are not only supported in a multitude of positions, but you are doing so in style.

5. A true miracle bra
For the women on your list that just can’t seem to find the right bra, I offer you the one size fits all bra that you wear under your skin. This long lasting ‘invisible bra’ is a cone-shaped, polyester mesh that is inserted underneath a woman’s skin and is attached with stitches to a layer of fat just above the breast tissue. Makers of the bra claim that it is not only safe – and lasts longer than implants - but that you will be unable to feel it once it’s put in place. Many women who have undergone the procedure sing its praises for helping to put their natural breasts back where their partners once found them.

6. Messages worth sending
Why not send a message two-fold this year; one for under his collar, and one for under his pants. Racy collar stays are made from stainless steel and contain hidden sexy messages to be placed under his collar before he heads to work. Messages range from “That tie will be useful”, to “A surprise is waiting." After stewing on his messages all day in the office, he comes home to a his and hers KY lubricant pack. The blue bottle for him, the purple for her; the combination? Fireworks that can send any low libido flying high.

So, while I understand that surgery and a new ‘jewellery’ may not be on the top of your Santa wish list this year, I do hope at the very least to get your sexual side thinking this holiday season. After all, being naughty saves Santa a trip.

Dr. Teesha Morgan is a sex therapist based in Vancouver.