Sex & Relationships

Seriously? Reality TV mom Michelle Duggar's secret to keeping her husband happy

Three decades and 19 children later, the reality TV mom can still keep the romance alive in her relationship — but her advice should really be taken with a grain of salt.

 

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar. Photo, DuggarFamily.com.

Reality TV mom Michelle Duggar has spoken: If you want to keep your partner happy be ready and willing to have sex at all times.

Duggar and husband Jim Bob, the stars of TLC’s 19 Kids and Counting, have been married for three decades and have 19 children.

The matriarch offered up her advice during a recent interview with Today Moms. The topic was “7 tips for keeping your marriage sexy . . .  even after (a lot of) kids.”

According to Duggar, she was given the lowdown on keeping the romance alive from a friend before she said “I do” to Jim Bob.

Her pal said, ” ‘In your marriage there will be times you’re going to be very exhausted. Your hubby comes home after a hard day’s work, you get the baby to bed, and he is going to be looking forward to that time with you . . . Be available. Anyone can fix him lunch, but only one person can meet that physical need of love that he has, and you always need to be available when he calls.’ ”

While I don’t believe Duggar has any kind of overtly paternalistic intent in sharing her top tip for keeping the love alive — a healthy sex life can’t be underestimated as a factor in continued affections, of course — I think her view is a mite antiquated, to say the least.

Aside from the questionable sexiness of the edict — nothing like an exhausted woman performing her  conjugal “duty” to get pulses racing! —  the advice comes with a few prickly gender assumptions that may make it hard to swallow.

For one, most women are also coming home from hard day’s work. Secondly, what’s a gal to do if she’s married to a person with a low libido? (Do men not get the “conjugal duty” memo?)

Sex is a powerful bonding agent, but so too is understanding, compassion and old-fashioned respect for another person’s needs and desires at any given moment. That may mean giving your partner a scalp massage when they have a headache or drawing them a bath when they’re too tired to perform the “physical need of love.”

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