On falling out of love

Should a restless mother leave her husband to rejoin the dating ranks? Our guy panel share their thoughts on this and other sex and relationship issues.

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Dear Wise Guys:
I’ve been married for four-and-a-half years and have a three-year-old daughter. I started dating my husband when I was 18 and got pregnant at the same time I graduated college. For the past eight months I’ve been thinking about leaving him, but I’m worried about my daughter and whether, financially, we’ll be able to survive on our own. My husband also has a son from a previous relationship and I don’t want to hurt him, either. I’m pretty sure I don’t love my husband anymore, but I do care about him. Please Help!!

Restless at home

Dave, a happily married husband, says:
Have you spoken to your husband about your feelings? What about counselling? You owe it to yourself, your husband and above all, your daughter and step-son to explore every other option first. If things don’t work out, you’ve at least tried. “Pretty sure” isn’t good enough when children are involved.

Patrick, brother of two sisters, says:
It sounds like your heart already knows what to do, but before you leap, make sure you’re not experiencing the ‘grass-is-greener’ syndrome. Perhaps you’re curious about being with other people because you missed out on a lot of dating (overrated!). But before you dive back into those murky waters, I’d opt for a few more kicks at the can: marriage counselling or a vacation for two. If that doesn’t work, you’re not doing anyone any favours by staying and being unhappy. Your daughter and step-son are important, but you deserve happiness and a truly fulfilling relationship, too. In time, the kids will hopefully understand and respect your choice.

Bruce, a pal to countless gals, says:
We can’t all dump our guys because Brad Pitt is a bachelor again! But seriously, if you’re only pretty sure you don’t love your man, you owe it to yourselves and the kids to talk it out. If you’re feeling stuck in a rut, maybe there’s something you can do, such as making fancy, dress-up dates with each other part of your regular schedule, to rekindle your romance.