Illustration, Getty.
Writer Nicole Cliffe put a simple call-out on Twitter on Wednesday afternoon after watching The Edge (a movie that features an improbable love triangle between Elle MacPherson, Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin): “Well, now I want to know how the various cheaters in your life/a loved one’s life have gotten caught.”
While it’s likely that most have been on one side of the awful equation of infidelity, usually people are pretty low-key on the details — but not today. Cliffe received dozens of replies with juicy details, heartbreaking reveals and shockingly dumb cover-up attempts.
Here are some, er, lowlights:
So my brother was in the process of breaking up with his girlfriend. She left her computer unlocked & he decided to check it to see about some of his suspicions.
Found out she was cheating – with MY boyfriend
— Ijeoma Oluo (@IjeomaOluo) March 21, 2018
Diary entry left open on his bedside table began with "I think she's starting to suspect it's not over with Sasha."
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) March 21, 2018
Was helping my friend make an OK Cupid page and saw my boyfriends page on there. Active within a half hour. (We had been living together two years)
— Lynnmarie (@bellanina624) March 21, 2018
A guy I was dating broke his ankle so I thought I would surprise him at his place with get-well cupcakes. I get to his place and there’s another woman – we stare at each other awkwardly, I leave the cupcakes at the door, and run. (In hindsight, I should have kept the cupcakes!)
— Christina Toms (@ChristinaToms) March 21, 2018
When my grandfather died they found the paperwork for a house and car for this woman nobody in the family had ever met.
— Pappy Skeletons (@PappyShannon) March 21, 2018
Find My Friends app 😕
— Ashley Fetters (@AshleyFetters) March 21, 2018
my uncle unwisely had a note from another woman in his pants pocket when he crashed the bus he was driving. the hospital delivered his clothes to my aunt, who laundered pressed foldered & redelivered them to his bedside, note on top, creases ironed in, said nothing, sat, waited
— queenofbithynia (@queenofbithynia) March 21, 2018
my Aunt found out her (now ex) husband was cheating bc when she had a baby, the midwives kept calling him her brother… eventually realised it was bc he was at the same hospital a week earlier having a baby w someone else.
— bridget minamore (@bridgetminamore) March 21, 2018
Oh! And my dad got caught by his girlfriend the front desk lady at my school when I was little because he put his other girlfriend in as someone who could pick me up
— so tired all the time (@DamianneTweets) March 21, 2018
My (now ex) wife left her Facebook accidentally logged on in my browser instead of hers. I opened up (what I thought was) my Facebook, instantly noticed I had a new message, clicked on it, thought "Who's this guy messaging me about how he can't wait to see me tonight?"
— Brian PJ Cronin (@brianpjcronin) March 21, 2018
Cleaning out my grandfather’s place after he passed away. Found a picture behind his picture of his girlfriend in an easy to swap out plastic frame. pic.twitter.com/liKoxnb6jg
— Kate Eakins (@k8eakins) March 21, 2018
He posted on CL casual encounters saying he could host while his GF (me) was out of the country. I logged into his email from China (he’d given me the info) to pay a bill that was due and realized he was bartering with prostitutes to try and pay them in weed rather than $$$
— Melty (@thebirdsflyout) March 21, 2018
So while you can’t control getting hit by a bus, the very least you can do to show some regard for your significant other is to log out of your social media account on a shared computer. Or, you know, try to not cheat.