Health

How to survive a break up

Newly single? Here are three steps to help you move on and avoid the standard ice-cream-and-chocolate recovery system

Chatelaine

Unless you’re taking break up advice from Kate Gosselin, you don’t have to play the jilted ex to survive a relationship breakdown. Instead, Toronto-based dating and relationship coach Kateryna Spiwak suggests focusing your energy on the positive to bounce back faster, better and stronger.

Blast the past
Even if you vowed ’till-death-do-us-part, you need to accept that everyone makes mistakes — even you. “After you reflect on what you learned from this relationship,” explains Spiwak, “focus on the actions you can take to move forward.” That means if you’ve put up with more than your fair share of “man-trums” in the past, vow to accept no disrespect from future partners.

Power of one
Rebuilding your internal strength means focusing on the abilities, skills and talents you have to offer. “Being single isn’t a death sentence,” shares Spiwak, “it’s an opportunity to learn about yourself.” When one of her recently split clients decided to get fit, she signed up for salsa dance classes. By following her passion, Spiwak says she gained renewed self-assurance, not to mention a stash of incredibly sexy dance moves.

Social action
Go beyond Facebook and log in some real face-to-face time with your guy and gal pals. While you don’t want to push yourself, Spiwak says hanging out with male friends in particular — or even your brother and his buddies — can help renew your faith in the opposite sex. (Maybe that’s the real reason why Kate Gosselin spends so much time with her bodyguard?)