Does calorie-burning underwear actually work?

Masterfile

I’ve written about the Shake Weight, which I believe owes its high sales to gag-gift purchases for bridal showers. I’ve also written about rocker shoes, and how they’re not really going to help you burn any additional calories — and could cause injury.

And now — underpants. Not just any underpants, but magical ones that promise to help burn the flab away.

The first question is: Do they work? The answer is: Who cares? These things are stupid.

Sure, the article does talk about some minimal extra caloric burns and how it works from a biomechanical perspective, but there are two major things wrong with this product and others like it:

1. Compared to intense and extended exercise, the caloric burn potential is so insignificant it might as well not even be mentioned.
2. Such products promote a toxic mindset that embraces sedentary living.

To address the first point, it requires a tremendous amount of consistent physical activity to make a serious dent in weight loss. Wearing your “weight-loss” undies while carrying a Shake Weight and rocking your rocker shoes is not going to cut it. You need to get out there and kick your own butt with exercise, day after day, if you want to lose weight and reap all of the amazing health, psychological and performance benefits that come with it.

Secondly, I hate products with a “quick fix” mentality, because they promote the myth of exercise as a form of punishment to be endured only to achieve a specific goal. Well, that’s a crock. Exercise is not a form of torture you need to tolerate in order to achieve health and weight-loss goals. Becoming a regular exerciser is an awesome lifestyle choice that you need to fully embrace with vigor and butt-kickery, until the day you become worm food.

Seriously though, you just need to find your exercise passion instead of looking for silly products that you hope will allow you to continue being a couch potato. Experiment and find something you like doing, and then practice getting good at it and upping the intensity. Keep pushing your limits and trying new and more difficult things — before you know if you’ll be a battle-hardened workout warrior. And your life will become more awesome.

Finally, know that people who engage in lots of physical activity gain better control over their diets, which is the real secret to sustainable weight loss.

So forget about the gimmicks, and spend that money on something like a good pair of running shoes instead.

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