Sometimes, when a relationship ends, you’re left wondering exactly what happened. How is it possible that you went from flushed cheeks and whispered pillow talk to coldly collecting a cardboard box full of your books and underwear? Well, it turns out there’s an app for that.
According to a recent story by Daisy Dumas at Daily Mail online, there’s a new template in town for finding out exactly why your previous relationship failed. A website and phone app – WotWentWrong – provides online forms for exes to help parse out every wrong turn. (This strikes me as a real boon to both neurotics and narcissists everywhere: “Hey ex, can you please fill in this lengthy survey outlining exactly how you feel about me and my crazy behaviour?”)
Some templates allow users to let their exes down gently; the “flattering” template offers platitudes like, “I think you’re a fantastic person” or “We had some great moments together, but obviously something has happened to change things.” It also allows users to log complaints, such as “You never pay for dinner” and “You don’t make me feel attractive.” And if you’ve done that and you’re still not so tightly curled into the fetal position that you’re unable to operate a computer, there’s more: The site features an opportunity to ask your ex terrible, terrible questions, including whether they found certain friends attractive and how they would rate your performance in bed.
But, of course, this all raises a very legitimate question: Would you be happier, mired in the awfulness of a breakup, not knowing which one of your friends your ex would most want to have sex with? And is a relationship website with a spelling mistake in its url really the best source for clarity when it comes to intimacy issues?