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How to find happiness after divorce: One woman’s story

Finding happiness after divorce is difficult. It can be made even more difficult when your ex is a world-famous musician, or in this case, Vince Neil, former front man of heavy metal band Motley Crue.

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Broken heart, divorce

Finding happiness after divorce is difficult. It can be made even more difficult when your ex is a world-famous musician, or in this case, Vince Neil, former front man of heavy metal band Motley Crue.

But despite a public divorce, and the death of their then four-year-old daughter Skylar in 1995, Neil’s former wife Sharise says that happiness is possible.

As one of the stars of the new show Ex-Wives of Rock, viewers can follow Sharise and three other ex-wives (Susan Dixon, ex-wife of Warrant bassist Jerry Dixon; Bobbie Brown, ex-wife of Warrant front man Jani Lane and Athena Lee, ex-wife of Scorpions drummer James Kottak) in their day to day lives finding joy post-divorce. We spoke with Sharise about her secrets to happiness and how she got through the tough times:

Q: You’ve gone through a lot in your life including your divorce and the loss of your daughter to cancer. How do you find happiness after these life-changing events?
A:
The number one thing that heals is time. After my daughter passed away, I wore a hole in my sheets by just staying in my bed. But really spending time with friends and letting time go by is the most healing part. Although you never get over it.

As for the divorce, by the time it happened I was so done with the heartache and the disappointment. By the time I let go of all of that, it was like a toxic release. But again time has gone by and it’s been the healer.

Q: The show follows your friendship with the other ex-wives — what’s the role of friendship for your happiness?
A:
I’ve always been a girl’s girl — there are some girls who are there for guys and there are some girls who are there on the girl’s team and that’s me. So I’ve always surrounded myself with lots of women. I’ve had most of my friends for 15-20 years — I gather them like little gems. They’re everything to me. I have the sweetest, nicest, most supporting loving girlfriends who are everything.

Q: You also run a clothing business — what does that do for your personal joy?
A:
I can’t tell you how happy I am to have my own money and to know that in any situation such as a bad relationship that I could just get up and walk out and I’d be fine. When I was with Vince I wasn’t able to work because I was travelling with him. And for the seven years I was with him, he never let me forget that he paid for everything — it was his house and it makes you feel a bit scared inside and wonder: what would I do if I left? So it’s been nice to know I can count on myself. For me, it’s been quite an accomplishment.

Q: Any happiness tips for our readers?
A:
After going through the loss, I say do whatever makes you feel good. You’ve got to do that. Whatever your tonic is, you have to do that for yourself. I painted my entire house when I was grieving because the mindlessness and the physical activity helped me. I painted every room in that damn house. Find out what your tonic is and do it. Now my tonic is working out. It’s a great stress reliever for me. I put on my music loud and just get into the physical part of lifting weights and running really hard, and after that I feel amazing. Maybe my heart is still aching, but my body feels good and that helps my heart and my head.

Ex-Wives of Rock debuts tonight on Slice.

Click here for 10 tips on how to recover from a breakup or divorce.

Want more happiness news? Follow me on Twitter @AstridVanDenB


Get How to be Happy: 50 Extraordinary Revelations on Love, Life, Lattes & Summer Camp, $4.99, on Kobo or iTunes.