10 remarkable women share the meaning of real beauty
We teamed up with Dove's Camera Proud Challenge and received thousands of beautiful photos and stories. Here are 10 that really inspired us.
By Adriana Ermter
April 3, 2014
Clockwise from top: Braanna Kunz, Angela Jackson, Robin Konstantopoulos, Jennifer Slay, Marla Zapach, Lauren Perrier
Dove Camera Shy
Picture of confidence
New research from Dove reveals that more than 80 percent of women feel uncomfortable having their photo taken. When we heard this alarming stat, we joined forces with Dove on a campaign to celebrate real beauty — and we challenged women to share unretouched, unfiltered pictures of themselves. Thousands of you sent us your photos and told us your stories. We captured 10 of these powerful, intensely personal journeys here. It’s nothing short of an amazing read, so sit down, dig in and let yourself feel inspired. (Warning: Tissues may be required!)
Clockwise from top: Braanna Kunz, Angela Jackson, Robin Konstantopoulos, Jennifer Slay, Marla Zapach, Lauren Perrier
Amarit Grewal
Age 30, Surrey, B.C., certified dental assistant
"It's not the quality of the picture. It's the message the person in the photograph is sending."
My five-year-old son walked into the washroom while I was putting on my makeup and asked, “Why do you wear colours on your face?” I responded, “Mommy likes it; it makes her feel pretty.” He said, “Well, I like it better when you don’t wear makeup, because you look really pretty, just like my mommy.” Children don’t care what you look like on the outside. If my son tells me I’m beautiful without makeup, why would I disagree? Now that I’m a mother, I find my children give me more confidence than anyone else. They love me regardless of what I look like. When an innocent child wants nothing more from you than just you, how can you not be beautiful? Children see your heart. The older I get, the more I love myself. Positive women who welcome aging surround me. I love having my picture taken, something I rarely did when I was younger. I wish I hadn’t dwelled on my looks so much. I wasted a great deal of time hating myself, wishing I looked different and blaming my appearance for my failures. Now, I realize this had nothing to do with my looks, but rather with how I negatively perceived myself. Had I been more confident, I would have carried myself much differently. I’d tell the teenage me, “Throw away the mirror and look at yourself through the eyes of others. Beauty isn’t about makeup, clothes or anything materialistic. It’s about confidence. Be confident in every aspect of your life and you will be beautiful.”
Amarit Grewal
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Jennifer Slay
Age 39, London, Ont., child-protection worker, entrepreneur
"The best pictures are when you can feel the mood of the people in them."
This moment, right now, is probably the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m not saying this to brag, but I have so much to offer and I’m blessed I can help others. As the co-founder of an image and styling company, I show people, especially women, how to release their inner diva — it’s incredibly important. Women are so powerful and have such a huge impact on those around them. When you feel beautiful, you are beautiful. Beauty is being yourself. I love getting older. I get wiser with age and I feel sexier than I did 10 years ago! I’ve learned how to help others appreciate their features that get better with age too, like curvy hips and laugh lines. They add character. I was 33 years old when I had my second baby and experienced the baby blues. I was going through difficulties financially, I’d gained weight and my mood was down. I just didn’t feel like myself. Having a perfectionist-like attitude about myself, particularly when I’d screw up, took its toll. Now I accept that my good parts far outweigh the bad ones. Over the past couple of years, my husband and I have gone through tremendous trials together as well, but we’ve worked through them and now, we’re so much stronger. Learning to appreciate myself, and the people around me for who they are, is freeing. My kids are healthy and happy, my marriage is good and I count my blessings by focusing on what I have, rather than what I don’t have.
Jennifer Slay
Marla Zapach
Age 46, Nordegg, Alta., independent consultant, ecotourism entrepreneur
"A photograph is beautiful when it captures more than a face or a scene and allows you to understand the essence of that split second, and see a glimpse of the the person's spirit."
I was in my mid-30s when I realized my face and body were changing and I was entering another phase of life. It was hard to imagine that I was going to lose the appearance of youth I’d always taken for granted. So when my first crow’s feet and laugh lines became apparent, I started to feel uncomfortable in front of the camera. It has taken me many years to understand that beauty can’t be produced or even defined. It’s something that comes from understanding who you are and how you positively affect those around you. My brother has Down Syndrome, and I see and feel the pain he experiences when people make hurtful comments and treat him disrespectfully. Like everyone else, he has rights and deserves to be loved and integrated into our lives and our communities. My most difficult moments are when I see the world making judgments based on outward appearances. Beauty is confidence. When I’m happy I actually glow; my pleasure is so visible it’s infectious! My happiest moments are when I am challenging myself and achieving my goals, and when I am simply being quiet, realizing how fortunate and blessed I truly am.
Robin Konstantopoulos
Age 39, Keswick, Ont., administrative assistant, independent fragrance director
"Beauty is a soul that can smile. It's what's beneath, not on top of, the surface."
I've spent most of my life uncomfortable in front of the camera. To some extent, I still feel this way. It’s paranoia, I guess, of having too many wrinkles and not being good, skinny or young enough. Sadly, my self-worth is often determined by how I think others might see me. The hardest moment in my life was learning my son has severe autism. Then I learned my second child, my daughter, is also autistic — the second-most difficult moment I’ve experienced. Their births were my happiest times, though. So was earning a free trip to Greece this year! I worked hard and now I get to have the honeymoon I never went on and the trip I’ve always dreamed of. I don’t mind aging, but I’m not enjoying the physical aspect of it. My daughter is only seven years old, but I tell her that her hair and skin colour will not determine the person she’ll become. Her actions will. Her brilliance and her incredible personality will make her outshine everyone else. I gain confidence when I have a great hair day or when my clothes feel a little less snug, when I don’t look so tired and feel so sleep deprived. I also gain confidence when I see my children achieving their goals and when I assist other parents to help their autistic children achieve their goals.
Robin Konstantopoulos
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Leona Planko Finlayson
Age 42, Vancouver, full-time mom, part-time belly dance teacher and performer
"Even though my smile may be crooked. It's a part of me, and I love to smile. My eyes light up when I do, and I can say, a lot with just my eyes."
My friend said this and it has stuck with me: “If I have to choose between being in this body or not being here, I choose this body.” Aging is hard, it isn’t fun to feel aches and pains, but I’m grateful I get to be here to age. The consolation is wisdom, experience and the realization that the beauty you hold inside will shine through if you let it. I don’t feel comfortable posing for photos. It’s hard for me to feel natural. Ha! Maybe it’s because my mom always made us pose for the camera when we were kids. I love to look at photos, though. They document the different moments of our lives. Choosing to follow my heart and do the right thing has been hard. Every day, I struggle with who I am and what I’m supposed to do. My heart tells me I’m on the right path, but my bank account tells me I could be wrong. There are days when I wonder when that battle will end. Knowing I love myself and that I am loved keeps my daily challenges in perspective. When I listen to my heart and follow it, it gives me confidence. Remembering the day both of my boys were born always brings a smile to my face. There’s nothing like it. Giving birth is a gift and it’s pretty amazing.
Leona Planko Finlayson
Richelle Greathouse
Age 42, Charlottetown, social worker
"When a picture makes me see life through another person's eyes. I feel very blessed."
Once, I had a professor tell me he never had to wonder what I was thinking, because he could read my face. My husband claims he’s still discovering my many facial expressions — they’re my best feature. I used to duck away when it was family-photo time. There was always something I disliked: a bad expression, dark circles, chipmunk cheeks. It wasn’t until my husband pointed out how much he loved what I considered to be bad photographs that I learned to look at myself in a less critical way. If I could tell my 13-year-old self anything, it would be, “So what if you are pale and have freckles? Love them; they’re a part of you. Stop comparing yourself to others; it’s a yardstick you will never be satisfied with. Validation comes from within.” My 89-year-old grandmother says she still feels like a young woman. She radiates love and beauty. I want to be that woman when I’m her age. In 2007, I returned to school to pursue my dream of becoming a social worker, and it was like a hidden part of me began to bloom. Knowing I’m doing good things in my community and seeing positive change in others gives me the confidence to step outside of my comfort zone. I’m privileged to work with what the world sometimes refers to as marginalized women. These women have seen a lot of struggles, yet they are some of the most incredible people you will ever meet. The love and compassion they have for their friends, family and community is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
Richelle Greathouse
Angela Jackson
Age 51, Vancouver, server, entrepreneur
"When I am genuinely joyful, you definitely know it. My smile comes from my heart and I can't hide it. Nor would I want to."
You're either having a birthday or you're dead. That’s how I feel about aging! The older I get, the more authentic I become, and I hope and expect this will continue. Plus, getting older means one day, fingers crossed, I’ll be a grandmother, and that’s something I’ve looked forward to since the birth of my son. A couple of years ago, I realized I love my son more than I love myself and what a huge gift this is. I would walk in front of a bus to save that kid and not think twice about it. Since I believe we’re on this earth to love and be loved, I’ve pretty much hit the jackpot when it comes to personal goals. It’s all gravy from here. Throughout my life, I’ve felt photographs are a gift — a moment in time with friends and family or somewhere you’ll never physically be again. It’s not about perfection; it’s about memories. There’s never been a time I’ve felt uncomfortable in front of the camera. Years ago, I reached a crossroads in my life and had to follow my heart and choose myself. I couldn’t just be someone’s wife and someone’s mother anymore; I had to discover who I was. Even though the fallout from this decision was brutal for years, my son and I are thriving and I would do it all again in a heartbeat. Beauty is holistic and originates from within us. A person who radiates joy, confidence and goodwill is an alluring person who draws others to them. That’s beautiful.
"No matter how classically pretty the person is, their picture is not beautiful unless I can see a smile of welcome, the openness of spirit and the light of humanity in their eyes."
I'm always the first person to line up in front of the camera. I love the memories pictures give you. Three years ago, I had a transient ischemic attack (TIA, a mini-stroke), and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I was getting old! I had to take all sorts of drugs. I felt vulnerable. When I looked in the mirror I saw sagging bits, a colour-drained face, jowls and a thick body. I felt ugly. Worse, I felt invisible. I’d always been attractive. Who was I now? No one looked at me anymore. After my TIA, there were a few hours when I couldn’t talk; I was paralyzed on my left side, and my brain was fuzzy. Years before, I’d survived the tsunami in Thailand. I was so angry that this was what might kill me! But once I was able to walk and I knew I had no lasting, physical damage, it was one of the happiest moments of my life. Now, I stand up straight — it makes me look and feel more confident. I wear makeup when I leave the house. I’m active and I love my brand new, short, silver hair. When I was 13 years old, I was the pretty girl, and for a long time I let my other attributes go. Then, at 30, while pursuing my nursing degree, I discovered how exciting it could be to be the school leader, the smart girl. I would tell my younger self, “Find your musical or artistic talent and become the person people want to have at parties.”
Gail Azoria Shandro
Lauren Perrier
Age 27, Thunder Bay, Ont., emergency 911 dispatcher, communications operator
"When you capture a real smile, feelings and interactions, you can feel the emotions."
Hands down, my best feature is my smile. It brightens my face. I don’t have perfect, straight teeth and I’ve never had braces, but I look natural. I also love my legs because they are muscular and strong; I’m proud of what they can do. Beauty is difficult to define — kindness and personality play a big role. I’ve gone through phases when I didn’t feel beautiful. The first time was in high school. I didn’t have great skin, I hadn’t figured out how to tame my frizzy hair and I wasn’t comfortable in my body as it was changing. I thought I had to look like the popular girls. The most difficult moment was admitting I suffered from an eating disorder. I was trying to lose weight and I was making unhealthy choices. I was scared and unhappy, and I didn’t want to tell the people who cared about me because I didn’t want to hurt them. I felt like I let everyone down. In the end, having my parents’ support allowed me to start loving myself and to get healthy. Life is a journey. Sometimes I get so hung up on one small setback I forget I’m going to experience many in my life. When this happens, I remind myself to live in the moment. I feel pretty good about aging. I don’t have any grey hairs, yet, and I haven’t found one wrinkle, so maybe that will change. I believe in using natural products and limiting sun exposure. You can’t stop aging. The things that make you beautiful now will be the same things that make you beautiful through the aging process, so take care of them.
Lauren PerrierBraanna Kunz
Age 32, Kelowna, B.C., owner and founder, Kunzy Kreations; social media manager
"Being beautiful is an attitude. As cliché as that may sound, you have to be beautiful on the inside to have it reflect on the outside."
The happiest moment in my life was when I got married. I was signing a contract beyond a marriage licence — I was marrying my best friend, a lifelong companion, an ally and a wonderful man to help me raise our daughter and my son. It completed our circle as a growing, loving family. Finding out I was pregnant when I was 16 years old was my most difficult moment. I felt like my life was over. Little did I know, it was just the beginning of the most amazing chapter: being a mom. Looking back, it was a blessing in disguise and it has made me the person I am today. My daughter says my long hair is my most beautiful feature; that’s what’s important when you’re 11 years old! But I think it’s my smile — it comes from within and lights up my eyes. My kids give me confidence. They’re a reminder that I’m their biggest role model, and I want them to lead lives full of self-confidence and strength, even though sometimes they think I’m embarrassing. It’s sad to say goodbye to my youth, but at the same time aging shows I’ve survived and matured into a beautiful person. There is nothing more attractive than an older woman who has aged gracefully, naturally. I would tell my 13-year-old self, “These obstacles are going to pass and will make you a stronger and better person.” I think every teenager needs to know they have an amazing life ahead of them.
Braanna Kunz
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