10 parenting rules Kate Middleton swears by

1. Accept Help

The anonymous author advises new moms ask their mothers for help, especially in those first few weeks. “Your life is about to consist of interrupted sleep and a crying baby. So let your mom do as much as possible, including changing diapers and doing laundry.” Kate definitely did that! A day after leaving the hospital with Prince George, William and Kate headed to Bucklebury where Kate’s family lives. They stayed with Kate’s mom and dad for many weeks, with Carole Middleton helping Kate adjust to new mom life and cooking most of the meals to keep the new family well fed. Along with granny Carole, William and Kate have a full-time nanny named Maria who takes care of George and Charlotte when the couple are at royal engagements. Obviously Kate has much more money and more help than many of us can dream of, but we can all agree that there is no shame asking for help when you need it.

2. Keep calm during tantrums

When Prince George undertook his first royal engagement in July 2016, he became a bit overwhelmed by all the loud noises at the Royal International Air Tattoo. Kate was quick to scoop him up and “communicate in a calm-ish, reasoned and understandable tone,” like the author recommends. George instantly stopped crying and, before you know it, was off to check out the planes—tantrum averted. Bravo to Kate for being so cool and calm when basically the entire world is watching her kid about to have a meltdown.

3. Brush things off

So how does Kate discipline the future king? Well, there’s a lot of counting to three. The Modern Mother’s Handbook encourages parents to give your kid three counts to complete a task or it’s off to timeout. Yes, that means there’s a time-out chair in Kensington Palace. But not every kid antic is worth getting upset over “because sometimes a laugh and a hug is the proper reprimand.” Kate just laughed it off when rascal George got Charlotte with the bubble gun during a fun party in British Columbia.

4. Let them be independent

It’s hard to let your kids go out into that big scary world—especially when they’re so little. But the anonymous author says you’ve got to “get out of your child’s way” and let them discover the world and make their own mistakes. Her advice is “Set a good example and then stand back and watch.” Kate did just that during a children’s party in Victoria, BC. As soon as Charlotte saw all the games and animals, she pushed out of Kate’s arms and was off to play with the balloons. Kate just walked behind her and laughed at her daughter’s independent spirit.

5. It’s OK for them to be selfish

This rule may seem shocking, but it’s actually a very good tip. “A child can’t understand sharing if she first doesn’t understand the concept of possession,” the Modern Old-Fashioned Mom writes. So if another kid takes your kid’s toy, it’s OK to ask the other kid to give it back. Let that be a lesson to other kids: Don’t steal George and Charlotte’s toys.

6. Play music

Kensington Palace is a rocking place! The Modern Mother’s Handbook encourages moms to not just sing to your baby, but to go online and buy music that you can play around your house. Kate takes this advice even further by singing, dancing and playing instruments with her kids. Rock on, Charlotte!

7. Encourage them to find their talent

This one seems like a no-brainer but it’s good advice to follow. The Modern Old-Fashioned Mom urges parents to expose their kids to as many fun, cool and different experiences as possible. Kate is encouraging George’s love of motorcycles (even though they scare her), planes and helicopters. At Trooping of the Colour in 2016, Kate got right down to George’s level and shared in his excitement at the planes. Little Charlotte is becoming a horse lover and even though Kate doesn’t share the same passion for riding, she’s trying to encourage her daughter’s interest.

8. Don’t force your kids to do things

Who can forget when the Cambridges landed in Victoria and Prince George was in a bit of a mood—it had been a long flight and he was tired. When Justin Trudeau kneeled down and asked George for a high-five, the tot was having none of it and refused. Instead of reprimanding him for refusing to say hello, Kate got down on his level and checked in to make sure he was doing OK amid all the attention. The Modern Old-Fashioned Mom says forcing your kids to do something is unproductive and means you’re not listening to what your kid is trying to tell you. George is saying “Mum, I’m overwhelmed” and Kate is hearing him.

9. Teach thoughtfulness early

It would be easy for the little prince and princess to become spoiled—they do live in a palace! But Kate (and William, too) make sure their kids are grateful for everything they’ve been given and that they always say thank you — just like the Modern Old-Fashioned mom advises. When Barack and Michelle Obama came to Kensington Palace in April 2016, Kate made sure George came out (in his PJs and monogrammed robe!) to thank the couple for the lovely rocking chair they gave him when he was born. George then jumped on his play horse to show them just how much he loved the toy.

10. Dress your kids well

This is one parenting rule we could have guessed Kate follows. I mean just look at her stylish kids! The author says grooming your kids and dressing them nicely is a way to “instill a sense of self-respect and dignity that will last a lifetime.” Kate has definitely nailed this rule—the family is even known to wear coordinating colours.

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Watch: Seven tips on regaining control of your kids