Wise Guys

Dear Wise Guys:
I've been casually dating a guy for several months. He's nice and quite affectionate. The problem is, the chemistry between us seems to plummet (for me, at least) every time we get it on. We're both over 35, but our experience is vastly different – and I'm not interested in being a teacher. Help!

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Dave, a happily married man, says:
He's "nice" not amazing, your sexual chemistry is poor, and after several months, the dating is still "casual." If you loved him, he'd be worth teaching, and if he were amazing in bed, it would be worth dating him "casually." He's in neither category, and you deserve someone who's in both. Let him down gently and move on.

Bruce, a pal to countless gals, says:
I think you're dismissing the idea of tutoring your man in the ways of love too quickly. Here's a once-in-a-lifetime chance to mould an already great guy into the perfect lover, free of the cheesy bravado and bad bedroom habits that his more experienced contemporaries may have. Get the man some books and videos and a list of your favourite techniques for him to focus on. In no time at all, your trysts will go from tepid to tawdry.

Patrick, brother of two sisters, says:
You don't want to be a chemistry teacher, so what about being a drill sergeant or a policewoman? Role-playing can help us break out of ruts. It can also open up an important dialogue. But after trying what you can to improve the situation, if his personality and affection don't make up for the lack of chemistry, I'd suggest taking phys. ed. classes with someone else.

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