When Bravo’s show, Miss Advised, hit the air waves earlier this summer, sex expert and radio host Emily Morse put herself out there as a single woman looking for love in the big city (in her case, San Francisco). Viewers watched as she, and fellow relationships experts Amy Laurent and Julia Allison, navigated the single world trying to find a love of their own (insert disastrous dates, threesome proposals and acrobatics here).
When I got a chance to speak with her about the show (no word yet on whether a second season is in the works) I naturally wanted to know about her workout routine and how she keeps herself in such great shape. Coming from a fitness background, I was also fascinated to know what kind of shape someone would need to be in to tackle her book, Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight. That’s right, 200.
You’d have to be quite the workout warrior to manage all that, so my first question to Morse was how she stays in ‘expert’ condition. “I do yoga and I run,” she explains, “and lately I’ve been doing this Brazilian boot camp that involves running stairs and using a combination of Pilates and fitness style called the bar method. I’m also a big rock climber, both outdoors and in a rock climbing gym.”
When asked what us sex commoners can do to shape up for better sex overall, here’s Morse’s go-to recommendations:
1. Do yoga
“The flexibility of yoga definitely is important,” Morse says. “But beyond the flexibility for certain positions it has so many benefits in that it makes you less stressed. It opens up parts of your body that can help you when you’re having sex. The meditative breathing during yoga makes a huge difference because during sex lots of people hold their breath, especially women. The yoga breaths can help with that because it helps with relaxation and can help with achieving orgasm. You have to be relaxed to have good sex.”
She continues by explaining that doing yoga can help with orgasms when the breathing techniques are used mid-romp. “It’s funny that getting picked up after a yoga class happens a lot because everyone who is so happy and relaxed afterwards,” she notes.
2. Electronically-motivated kegels
“Doctors and therapists are always talking about the need to do kegels. A lot of people think it’s just for women, but for men having problems with premature ejaculation or maintaining an erection, they’re great. And for women it helps urinary incontinence after childbirth and for having longer and more intense orgasms.”
According to Morse, the problem with kegels is that no one remembers to do them. That’s why she developed an app called “Kegel Camp” to remind and motivate users to get them in. Morse talks users through a five minute program with 20 different levels.
3. Do pushups
“Pushups are a great exercise for sex, especially for men,” Emily tells me. This is because a number of positions require holding your body up over another person. But they’re not just for men. There are positions where upper body strength and stamina can be valuable for women as well.
4. Train your midsection
“You use your abdominal muscles a lot during sex.” Doing core focused exercises (find some in this article) will also help you hold certain positions and give you the stamina to not wear out too early.
5. Do any exercise that makes you feel good
“Exercise is good for overall sexual performance,” Morse says. “If you’re strong and in good shape you’re going to be able to perform better. You’ll be able to go the extra mile. You’re not going to get winded and you’ll be able to hold yourself in a certain position for longer.”
But it goes beyond physical capabilities.
“More importantly, lack of self-esteem is a big killer of sex drives and it’s often tied to body image issues…exercise gives you confidence in yourself because your body is not like this alien to you if you exercise. You’re more in touch with it and feeling more confident about how it moves and how to use it.”
James S. Fell, MBA, is a certified strength and conditioning specialist in Calgary. He writes the syndicated column “In-Your-Face Fitness” for the Chicago Tribune and consults with clients on strategic planning for fitness and health. Get your free Metabolism Report here.