Living with Breast Cancer with Leanne Coppen

A message from Leanne's family and friends to all the wonderful people who were her cheering section through her blog... It's with great sadness that we write to let you all know that Leanne died last night at Mount Sinai hospital in Toronto. Many of you have already heard this news and expressed your condolences in the comments following Leanne's last post. We thank you all so deeply for sharing them. Leanne had been experiencing more and more difficulty with her breathing as a result of the cancer that relentlessly took over her lungs. She was taken into the hospital on Sunday where they tried to make her more comfortable. The suddenness with which she declined on Monday and especially Tuesday was shocking to all of us. Towards the end... ...more

Several weeks ago I met a woman named Janet, a friend of a friend who, like me, is a young mother with metastatic breast cancer. There are about a million other things that would likely have led us to friendship anyway, but unwanted intimate knowlege of the particular agonies, fears and triumphs of life with metastatic breast cancer is a pretty powerful common ground to share. Janet has been at this cancer thing for a few years longer than I have, and she really knows her way around.  I thought I was informed and self-advocating? Next to Janet I look like a bit of a slacker. But the great thing is she's a natural mentor, with an indomitable nurturing streak and a determination to empower other people. She simply can't stand the idea of... ...more

Just before the weekend I heard from Dr. Detroit and according to her, there has been a delay in my starting treatment with the Karmanos Centre clinical trial because “we are still waiting for the Canadian government to approve your treatment here.” Um, yeah… Approval from the Canadian government...for my treatment in the U.S. ... Pardon me? First of all, that’s just what you need when you’re desperately awaiting life-saving treatment: a gargantuan bureaucratic behemoth squatting in your path and waylaying the approval process. Second, what in the holy bejeesus could the Canadian government be approving, since we are paying for every penny of my treatment ourselves? And which branch of the government? And at which level – Provincial... ...more

I should have known better than to title a blog post “Champagne and Sunshine.” Clearly that was just asking for a smack-down, and oh, did I get one! Before chemo yesterday I had gone to see the Palliative Care people at my hospital. Do not panic – I am not throwing in any proverbial towels – I just went to see them to help me get my pain under control, since that’s kind of their area of specialty. In fact, the first thing they tell you when you go in to see them is that they are not “end of life care,” but are rather specialists in symptom management and in particular, experts in pain management. Sounds good to me (but I still think they'd better change their name or invest in a big PR campaign because no matter what you do, the words... ...more

My happy high continues – fed in no small part by each new boisterous comment from you, my indefatigable invisible friends; my rag-tag scrappy support crew; my beloved cross-section of the very finest stuff on earth! Last evening, in a room flooded with sunlight, my husband and parents and I drank champagne on my bed while Georgia clambered around excitedly, flailing limbs and causing repeated near-spills of the precious elixir. (Luckily the French have special Jedi reflexes when it comes to champagne spills: my husband’s hand would automatically and deftly stop the falling bottle from hitting the floor before any of us anglos even knew it was in danger. Mais, bien sur. ) The colour returned to our faces, and it wasn’t just the bubbles at... ...more

Today the fine people at the Princess Margaret Hospital Foundation sent me a link to the “Weekend To End Women’s Cancers” orientation video , which I'm briefly in with my family. It's a long video (and you should maybe get the kleenex ready) but our little part comes in around the six minute mark. The video brings back a lot of memories of the 2-day 60 kilometer walk I participated in last September. It was such an emotional experience (I’m barely holding it together in the video… ditto for my mom) and such a rewarding one – I’ll never forget it. I am already signed up for the Walk again in the fall and even though I can’t even make it up the stairs right now without losing my breath and coughing, I’m still holding out hope that I will walk... ...more

THERE IS NOTHING IN MY BRAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  EXCEPT MY BRAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The MRI came back clear! I can hardly believe it (especially as I have a gigantic headache aura as I type this) but it is the best news ever!! I'm giddy, I'm elated, I'm relieved... I'm stunned and thrilled.  Hope - that fickle flame - has been reignited and doused with gasoline!  The champagne is chilling in the fridge; when my husband gets home (and once we stop hugging and crying) we'll drink to healthy grey matter!  Could there be a better, happier toast? Detroit here we come! Nothing in the brain means I'm getting on that train ! ...more

My husband and I went to a movie today! Yes, as in a movie in a theatre! With actual popcorn! Up and out and enjoying ourselves like a normal couple on a Sunday afternoon – how great is that? And then out of the dark theatre and into the sunny, breezy spring air, on a hunt to satisfy my latest craving: veal scallopini! (It’s almost always Italian these days, but even I was surprised by the veal.) Needless to say I had a great day. I am feeling much better, and for that I thank the vino(relbine.) Although a glass of Barolo would have been nice with the veal... I'm as happy as I am relieved, since I had thought that by last night I’d have seen a bit of an improvement, but didn’t, and began to worry. In fact, I was feeling so unwell last night... ...more

The good news is that my blood counts were fine and I was able to get Vinorelbine yesterday! The bad news is that I came home and barfed! My nurses think it was more likely due to adjusting to Big Daddy + empty stomach + coughing/gagging than the chemo.  Nonetheless, totally gross and uncalled-for.  I slept for about an hour before heading back to the hospital for the brain MRI.  Not easy in my state (but still, what a wonder that lying still in a space capsule while being assaulted by the sound of various pavement-smashing construction tools for approximately 40 minutes delivers a picture of my brain!) Then home again and weak and exhausted.  And so depressed. That's the thing, it all just wears you out. Altogether not... ...more